Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize