well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
