Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
