he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
