Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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