Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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