Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
