Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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