ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If I die, sorry about rent.
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