from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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