Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
