so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
