It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
time to smoke my breakfast
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
