I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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