you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
