I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
