Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
