I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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