I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This house was built for laser tag.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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