Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize