You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
