My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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