He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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