my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize