Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
