I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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