She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
