I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
