the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
