I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
