The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
