I don't think brook has ever known best
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
