i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
