Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
