I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
are you so shy because you have an std?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
