I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
