I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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