mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
