Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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