So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
