he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
