I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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