its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize