We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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