you guys were way drunker than both of me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
