fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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