I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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