just tell him i said nine months
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
