I hate all girls vehemently.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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