Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just invented taco cereal.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
