What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
