Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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