I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
