Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize