If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
