I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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