I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
