OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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