Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
