At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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