Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
