i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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