I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
