he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Blood and glitter go together right?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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