Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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