why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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