she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
