My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
